Great story. I think everyone has a Roy in their life and wishes he could do something like Ben did. There are some gramar issues, and spelling. Mainly where you put "teh" instead of "the". Simple errors without spellcheck. Also, sometimes things didn't look right, take this line for example: "Mainly bigger items were back him; smaller items...". Where you put "him" does not make sense. "There" would seem more appropriate, but it was just something I noticed, as I notice the small things. If you need any help with editing or what-not, just let me know.
Jon
@FGIJonC
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Comments
Glad you liked it. yeah, I didn't look over it at all for grammatical issues. Once I wrote it (in an hour's time or less), I typed it up on here. I knew there'd be some errors and whatnot. Especially since I was in a hurry for some reason. I guess I didn't want to forget what I had in my head.
But yeah, I'll go back and fix it probably. Whenever I get around to it, haha.
Glad you liked it!
I like it. I opened the audio that Tiredguy made for it, and listened to the whole thing. Good job.
Thanks guy
Leave it to JonC to post a long ass story.
<3
Tiredguy
It's a pretty funny story. I did a recording of it just for fun- check it out:
<a href="http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/193873">http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/liste n/193873</a>
FGIJonC
I loved it.